Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

We didn't send very many Christmas cards out this year, but I wanted to share our card, photo, and Matt's annual letter with you!

Here's the card:

and our photo:

and Matt's hilarious "2008 Beers' Family Christmas Letter":
"Hello, friends and family. Thank you all for joining us yet again for a recap of the adventures of the Beers family throughout 2008 (excepting the six weeks following the writing of this piece, but if anything important happens I’ll fill you in next year, or you can just check Betsy’s blog ( which is where I go to find out anything that Betsy might be keeping from me, like car accidents and pregnancies).
I will begin with Macy, the youngest member of the family, who has decided that, as long as people are willing to bring her things, there is absolutely no need to walk. Ever. Macy has developed a knack for repeating much of what she hears and her father has put this trait to good use by teaching her the names of various Star Wars characters. Betsy knows nothing of this. Macy’s best friends are her bear, Pink Joey, and the Tupperware cabinet.
Jackson, who will turn five in March (Jackson Five, cool, huh?), has started preschool and is doing very well. His teachers say that Jackson is very helpful and quite a good listener, which leads Jackson’s father to believe that his son’s teachers are filthy liars. Jackson, being four, is very energetic and opinionated and LOUD. He’s also very cute when he sleeps.
Betsy is continuing with her plan to take over the world. Matt found a receipt in the trash for a death ray, so it looks like things are going well for Mrs. Beers.
The king of the castle, or rather, the acting mascot of the house, Matt, recently decided to let his glorious hair once again cascade down his bronzed shoulders only to realize, rather painfully, that there will be no more cascading hair, nor any bronzed shoulders for that matter, unless he pays for a wax job, and that doesn’t look like happening any time soon.
The following is a list of actual things that happened to the Beers familia in 2008:
Jack played his first, and probably last, season of soccer. There was a tense moment when we thought he was going to kick the ball, but instead he screamed at it and ran away.
Macy found that the most comfortable place one can place one’s finger is in one’s nose. Or in the nose of a loved one.
Betsy turned thirty, which justifies Matt’s wearing so much black.
For a couple of months in the summer Matt began a regular exercise program and reaffirmed that running is stupid. He lost approximately zero (0) pounds and is now the proud owner of bad knees.
Jack has started reading and he also understands simple math concepts like addition and fraud.
Macy has stopped crying when she is dropped off at the church nursery, however, she cries whenever she sees her grandmother, which is kind of funny.
Matt and Betsy became members of Pathway Community Church. If you happen to run into them there, please refer to them as Santos and Maria Ramirez. There was a problem with the background check.
Conan has made it very clear that he does not miss the cat in the least.
Jack has decided that he will be either a race car driver or a “fire truck worker” when he grows up, despite his father’s hopes that he will become a ninja or a pirate.
Macy has only two teeth, which she uses with surgical precision to carve cheese sculptures.
Betsy has continued scrapbooking, making the leap to digi-scrapping, which is a thing I’m pretty sure she made up just so she could buy a laptop.
Matt has pretty much stopped writing altogether since he got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas last year. For a few weeks in February he also stopped bathing, but Betsy made it very clear that… Well, he now bathes habitually.
Matt and Betsy would like to thank each and every one of you for whatever it is you do for them throughout the year. If you feel such thanks are unwarranted, they have a list of things that you could do for them. Just let them know.
Have a merry Christmas and a safe New Year and we hope that 2009 is as wonderful as you deserve.
With much love,
Matt, Betsy, Jack, and Macy Beers
p.s. You didn’t think I forgot the haiku, did you? Well, I kinda did, but then I remembered so shut up.
This year I’m going
to do my very best to
out drink my grandma."
Well, there you have it! Have a WONDERFUL Christmas!

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